Firstly, I have to say apologies for not blogging for a while. Real life–which can be more demanding than one’s artistic pursuits sometimes–took over in a big way and I was busy with work. Sure, it was money-making work (which is great), but you know how work can be.

Secondly, apologies for having this review up so late. I’d been sitting on The Screenwriter’s Roadmap: 21 Ways to Jumpstart Your Story by Neil Landau, but never had enough to time to read it. Finally, I’ve been able to carve out some time to read it. So, without further ado, here is some background on the book, the author, and my thoughts.

From the bestselling author of 101 Things I Learned in Film School and screenwriter of Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead, Neil Landau, comes The Screenwriter’s Roadmap: 21 Ways to Jumpstart Your Story, a new title from the Focal Press…

Each chapter is augmented by end of chapter “homework” assignments, examples from recent blockbusters and timeless classic films, as well as interviews with some of Hollywood’s most successful screenwriters including Scott Z. Burns (Contagion), Tony Gilroy (Michael Clayton, The Bourne Legacy), Laeta Kalogridis (Shutter Island), David Koepp (Spider Man), Jeff Nathanson (Catch Me If You Can), Eric Roth (Forrest Gump,Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close), David S. Goyer (Batman Begins, The Dark Knight Rises), Billy Ray (The Hunger Games), Melissa Rosenberg (the Twilight trilogy), Sheldon Turner (Up in the Air), and many others.

In this book, Landau, an established Hollywood screenwriter and script doctor, provides 21 questions for you to ask yourself as you write, to help you nail down your screenplay’s story structure, deepen its character arcs, bolster stakes, heighten suspense, and diagnose and repair its potential weaknesses. Originally created as a handout for Landau’s UCLA screenwriting class, these vital “21 Questions To Keep You On Track” have been field-tested and utilized in the creation of some of Hollywood’s biggest blockbusters and critically acclaimed films.

About The Author:

 

Neil Landau is co-author of the bestselling 101 Things I Learned in Film School (Grand Central Publishing, 2010).  His numerous film and television credits include the cult teen comedy “Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead,” and the new 3D animated feature “The Adventures of Tad Jones” (Paramount, 2012) – which just opened #1 at the box office in Spain, and will next premiere in China, France, UK, Russia, and all over the world.

In addition to his numerous TV credits, including “Melrose Place,” “The Magnificent Seven,” “Doogie Howser, M.D.,” “The Secret World of Alex Mack,” “Twice in a Lifetime,” MTV’s “Undressed,” plus one-hour drama TV pilots for CBS, ABC, Warner Bros., Disney, and Lifetime, Neil is also an in-demand script consultant, and worked for Sony Pictures, Freemantle, and Universal; Pictures. He is currently serving as Executive Producer on several new TV projects, for HBO-Europe and Fox TV Studios.

My thoughts: I think The Screenwriter’s Roadmap is a book that is a great must-have for both the novice screenwriter and the “well-seasoned” screenwriter. The novice screenwriter will surely glean tons of information on how to structure their screenplay, research locales and characters and more from Landau and screenwriters such as Tony Gilroy (The Bourne Legacy), Steven Conrad (The Pursuit of Happyness), Jane Anderson (The Prize Winner of Defiance), Scott Z. Burns (Contagion) and more.

If you’ve written a couple of screenplays for fun or for work, you’ll also learn something by not only hearing from the screenwriters themselves, but by learning about their processes, all of which have their own quirks. For instance, Gilroy doesn’t deal in premises, but works from a much smaller entryway into his stories. Landau suggests researching a local thoroughly before writing out the screenplay in order to have a base that can inform characters and actions. Quite a few screenwriters, including Burns suggest interviewing experts who have knowledge that could give your film realism. Sheldon Turner (X-Men: First Class [story]) talked of focusing on authenticity and organic character development.

At the end of each chapter, there are also helpful assignments that will promote your growth as a storyteller. At the heart of the assignments is the always necessary ability to observe. By doing these assignments, you’ll be able to strengthen your observing muscle and create even more powerful screenplays.

Overall, this is a great book for anyone interested in the screenwriting process and want to get an inside look at how the today’s screenwriters go about constructing their stories. You can buy The Screenwriter’s Roadmap here.

Credit: greggoconnell (Flickr Creative Commons)

Having written a few scripts before, I can tell you from experience that I’ve run into the problem of having mundane dialogue in a script. It can be painful, especially if it’s read aloud. So, how do you rectify the problem of boring talking? Try putting your characters in a compromising position.

Jurgen Wolff for Raindance Canada writes that putting your character in a situation outside of their comfort zone will automatically bring out some highly interesting dialogue. Wolff gave the example of one of his scripts, involving a man who is dying. He wrote that because of the situation, the characters in his story said some very intriguing things, especially when they start saying things they didn’t mean to say.

I think the jist of what Wolff is getting at is to always be mindful of what your story is. What situation are your characters in? There’s a way to make almost anything interesting–if you are writing a family drama, what secrets are there that shouldn’t get out? If you’re writing a crime or medical procedural, what types of ailments are giving the doctors trouble when it comes to saving a life? Basically, what’s at stake? If you can’t answer that question, then there might be something missing from your script.

You can read more of what Wolff has to say here. How do you get past boring dialogue? Give your suggestions in the comments section below.

Credit: NBC

I think you know that I had to talk about this show. The New Normal, a show about a same-sex couple wanting to start a family, is one of the most anticipated shows of the year, and I’ve seen it. I’ve also reviewed/recapped it for TV Equals! Click here to check it out. But just in case you need some incentive, here are some bullet points of my feelings about the show.

• It’s preachy
• The kid doesn’t act like a real kid
• Ellen Barkin knows how to imbue humanity into cartoon characters; she ended up being the best part of the night.

That’s about it–you’ll have to read the rest at TV Equals. Also, make sure to read my recaps of The New Normal, my conference call coverage with the leads of The New Normal and my future recaps TV Equals. Follow my Facebook page to know what other shows I’ll be reviewing this fall.

Photo from An Orphan Walks Into a Bar. Credit: Isabella Vosmikova/FOX

I just wanted to make a quick post dedicated to Michael Clarke Duncan. When I first heard he died, I thought it was another internet prank. Sadly, it wasn’t. RIP, Michael Clarke Duncan. You had tons of fans, and you’ll be dearly missed.

Here are some of my favorite Michael Clarke Duncan moments:

Also, here’s a great article on five of his best roles.

Lauren Ambrose as Susan Wheeler. Credit A&E

I haven’t seen the original 1978 film Coma, based on the book by Robin Cook, but it was directed by Michael Crichton, one of my favorite authors (if not my favorite). I trust Crichton, so I have no doubts that the original is great. This new version of Coma, however, doesn’t garner my trust so much.

The biggest selling point of this A&E miniseries were the Scott brothers. About two weeks ago, seeing the names Ridley and Tony Scott would have caused tons of people to tune in. However, in a sad twist of fate, I’m sure a lot of us probably tuned in last night because we wanted to see the last work of Tony Scott. I, like a lot of people, was sad about his death, and I was touched when I saw the remembrance at the beginning, but in my review/analysis, I’m going to separate the miniseries from the real-life issues surrounding it.

I really wanted to like this miniseries. I love stories that reveal the entrepreneurial, seedy side of high-tech medicine. Crichton himself has written a couple, such as The Terminal Man. I especially wanted to like the miniseries since the evocative image of a person suspended by metal cords highlighted some of the things the Scott brothers know how to do well–creating moods and realistic sci-fi settings. There are a lot of big names attached to this project as well–Lauren Ambrose, Geena Davis, Ellen Burstyn, Richard Dreyfuss, James Woods, Steven Pasquale and others. Basically, all of the elements were in place for an awesome miniseries, or at the very least, an entertaining one.

However, that’s not what I got. What I got was something that made me irritated and confused. Most of that irritation came from Lauren Ambrose’s character, Susan Wheeler. I can’t speak for the ’70s version of the character or even the book version, Susan Wheeler is what fanfiction writers call a Mary-Sue. She has a physical attribute that makes her different than everyone else (in her case, her red hair), a conveniently profound pedigree (she comes from a line of storied doctors, her grandfather being the most legendary), and the ability to not only attract a lot of the opposite sex towards her (her classmates and Steven Pasquale’s character Mark Bellows), but can also stay out of trouble even while breaking every rule in the book.

I didn’t put that last one in parentheses because that particular aspect of the character has me the most annoyed.

I semi-live-blogged the first part of the miniseries on Facebook, and here’s some of what I wrote:

Watching “Coma.” I’m not sure how this redhead girl gets to waltz around the hospital like she owns it. She’s still on her rounds! And she’s just an intern! She can’t do anything except what her superior tells her! She can’t be snooping around in people’s files when she’s just a student! #coma

Well, it would seem redhead girl got what was coming to her. She was called out for not following orders. #coma

This redheaded girl seems a little insufferable. She’s a little like Britta, except not funny. #coma

If you caught the Community reference, then you probably get what I mean when I describe Susan as Britta. She’s a little bit too into her ideals, if that makes sense. I mean, yes, it’s great that she’s a young girl who wants to be the best doctor ever, but you’ve got to actually do your rounds! This girl is walking around the hospital as if she owns the place! Even if your grandfather was the best doctor who ever lived, that doesn’t mean you get the right to act entitled! It certainly doesn’t endear her to the audience. She was right to get checked by Mark, but he’s wrong to also want to get in her pants. Why does he want to do this? Heck, why is he even with Geena Davis’ character?

Anyway, enough about him, back to Susan. We see her not only neglect her duties as an intern, but she also uses a nurse’s ID card to snoop through people’s files! What intern would do this and still have their place at the hospital? Yet, somehow, she’s made friends with powerful people like James Woods’ Dr. Howard Stark (no, not Iron Man’s dad).

Susan’s burning need to get to the heart of the conspiracy is also a little cockeyed. While doing half of her rounds, she sees a girl in a coma. This girl happens to be a girl who was in her swimming class. It’s fine if the girl is the catalyst to Susan thinking there’s a conspiracy, but if the girl is so important, why did we just see her in a flashback that really didn’t have much substance? We just see the girl and Susan making small talk. To be blunt, a typical human being working in a hospital isn’t going to immediately jump to “conspiracy” when they find out one of their acquaintances from swimming class is in a coma. The first thing they’ll think is, “Wow, that’s sad.” Not, “Something’s obviously not right here.” Also, having looked up the process of the surgical removal of fibroids due to my mother’s hysterectomy, it’s true that the chances of slipping into a more serious state or even death are possible. They aren’t high, but it’s not as if it’s completely unreasonable for the girl to have a bad reaction to the anesthesia and just deteriorate.  Mark basically said this himself when he was talking to the interns. So again, for Susan to immediately jump to “conspiracy” is ludicrous when her family’s medical background–along with her own study of the body and procedures–should suggest to her that the girl  just had an unfortunate turn of events.

If anyone needs to be focused on, it’s the girl’s family. Their struggle with their loved one’s situation, especially with the Jefferson Institute woman in their face, was realistic and moving in my eyes. If I was editing the script of Coma pt. 1, I’d give these suggestions:

• Make Susan more relatable and likeable. Right now, she’s a Mary-Sue.
• Make sure the audience really knows what’s going on. We’re just dropped in the middle of this universe without any real setup. We barely know this story is set in Atlanta, for Pete’s sake! Make sure some exposition breadcrumbs are given to the viewers in order for them to really get comfortable in this universe. Also, say what time period we’re in. I know some who watched this have read the book and seen the original, but some, like me, haven’t done either. Some basic setup would go far.
• Make sure Susan’s catalyst has much more meaning than just a girl she knew. If the catalyst is this girl, what else is there to know about her? Why do we care about her? Why is she important to Susan? These questions must be answered for us to care about Susan infiltrating people’s files and breaking laws and stuff.
• This is risky advice, but I’ll write it anyway–Perhaps the script should have been rewritten with the swimmer’s family as the lead characters. I know that’d be completely against the original story, but Susan just doesn’t make a compelling character this go-round, go with characters who are compelling. In today’s movie making world, “remake” can mean anything from literally retelling to completely original idea based on a franchise. With the girl’s family at the head of the story, we’d have an impetus to find out more about the Jefferson Institute, a reason to infiltrate the institute, and a much better payoff once we find out what’s really going on. With the idea of saving family at the core of the story, everything just flows together more naturally in my head. Now, like I said, this is risky advice because it’s a little bit like me taking over someone’s story. But I’d still throw it out there, just to see if my suggestions will trigger some ideas that will help Susan’s characterization and the story in general.

During my semi-live-blog, I wrote:

Verdict on “Coma” pt. 1–a lot of buildup, but no payoff. I know there’s another part, but I should have been hooked from the beginning. I’ll still watch the second part to see if it gets any better later on. #coma

Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to see the second part of Coma when it first aired due to an already-scheduled event I had to attend and because I was watching the Democratic National Convention (First Lady Obama moved the nation!). But if I’m able to watch the second part, I’ll have my play-by-play analysis up.

Credit: A&E

Like everyone else, I was floored when I heard about the death of director Tony Scott. His tragic passing will be made even more poignant tonight, with the premiere of the sci-fi miniseries Coma at 9/8c on A&E.

Today, I’ve spent my Labor Day listening to a great retrospective by the guys at FilmJunk. Their knowledgeable, witty reviews on Scott’s films takes a lot of the sting out of Scott’s death while celebrating the director’s life. If you want to listen to the retrospective, click here.

After that, I’ll be gearing up for the premiere of Coma. I am staying away from any reviews; I love science fiction, so I hope this lives up to my expectations of being like a mesh between Alien and a great Michael Crichton book.

What do you think about Coma? And what memories do you have of Tony Scott’s films?

Credit: Dreamworks

I love the animated film Megamind. I’ve written extensively about it at Moniqueblog, but the short version of my feelings about that film is that it deceptively unique; yes, there are films that discuss the makings of a villain, such as Hannibal Rising and X-Men: First Class, but this film really got to me because Megamind’s trouble really started at school. Having worked in an elementary school for work study a few years ago (not to mention my own experiences in elementary school as a kid), I can tell you that schools can be one of the cruelest places in the world. Even though kids can be hardcore, some teachers can actually be some of the worst parts of school–some being ineffectual, others being straight bullies who demean children. If you’ve had a teacher tell you that you’re not going to be worth anything, then you probably know what I’m talking about. Heck, if you’ve had a teacher not believe what you’ve told them before, you know what I’m talking about. Basically, the kindergarten teacher Megamind had is the worst, even though she doesn’t say a word in the film. This ends my rant on the U.S. education system.*

Also, not many films talk about how a hero feels about his station. Generally, heroes love being heroes. I’ll argue that even Batman, to a certain degree, loves what he does; why else would he devote so much time, training and money? But the hero in Megamind hates his job. He sees it as something he was forced into.

Anyway, I love how everyone in the film changes roles (Spoilers? If you don’t want to know, don’t read)–Megamind becomes the hero, Metro Man retires and becomes who he really wants to be (a musician), Roxanne Ritchi morphs from her “Lois Lane” shtick to Megamind’s girlfriend, and Hal, Roxanne’s cameraman, changes from being the schlubby guy with a crush on Roxanne to a maniacal villain fueled by spurned love. The two things this film needed were 1) time to address the big plot holes, like how Megamind’s reputation is cleared after it’s revealed that Metro Man isn’t actually dead and other small things and 2) better marketing. The marketing team behind this film (I’m assuming they were from Paramount since, up until recently, Dreamworks was using them for distribution) did the film a real disservice by making a ton of really stupid commercials for it. I wasn’t even going to see it until I saw the first five minutes of it on Nickelodeon’s website. Not everyone knew about that opportunity, so a lot of people were just going by those horrific commercials. This Iron Giant way of killing films has got to stop!

Okay, to make a long story short, someone on the Megamind Livejournal page posted the original script for Megamind by Alan Schoolcraft and Brent Simons, which was originally called Master Mind. The film went through many, many changes from the original script to its final form. Firstly, it wasn’t intended to be a children’s/family film. It’s got cursing, allusions, stuff that you’d typically see in a PG-13 film. Secondly, according to the Livejournal post, the film was supposed to be in live-action, something that would be really interesting to see. I assume they’d use creature makeup on whoever would play Megamind/Master Mind. According to Livejournal, Ben Stiller brought the film to Dreamworks, which prompted the change from live-action PG-13 to animated PG. Personally, I would have liked it to go PG-13 since it seems like there’s some stuff they wanted to do, but that’s another topic.

I haven’t read the original script fully yet, but so far, it’s crazy. It still has the same zaniness that the final product has, but it’s got many more characters and, perhaps, a little bit more of a loose way of telling the story. What I do really like about the script is that it has the feeling of two people writing a story that they’ve always wanted to tell, and they’re just writing it whether or not it sees an audience. It’s just a story they had to get out. That kind of devil-may-care attitude still exists in the final film, and it’s something that helps the movie feel fun and, in a funny way, relatable.

If you want to read the script for yourself, check it out by clicking here. You can also read this and other scripts at The Internet Movie Script Database. Have fun!

*If you are a teacher reading this, please know that if you are one of the amazing teachers helping uplift children and save them from the perils of the world, then this rant certainly isn’t about you. If you know a teacher who is part of the problem in the education system, send the rant to them, since they are really who this rant is geared towards.